i wish you had waited...

i just wish you would have waited.
i wish you had given someone the chance to tell you that you are awesome---JUST the way you are.
i wish you could have understood that to be different is simply to be unique and you are loved and celebrated for that very thing.
i wish you had known that being seventeen is horrifying and terrifying and it passes...you get through it...there's more....really...
i wish you could have believed how dearly you are loved...
i wish you could hear the truth that none of it matters in the end---the it that you were so afraid of or resisted or believed was reprehensible...
i wish you had known that everyone feels outside, different, not good enough...
i wish you had heard in your heart of hearts that it's okay to be different from what you believe everyone expects...
i wish you could have understood that it is so perfectly normal to want to put to death that which is tormenting you, all that seemed to be demanding of you what you could not give.
i wish you were still here to see that it will get better...that everyone wishes they were a little more like you---easy going, more apt to ENJOY the moment, less likely to compete...
i wish you would have waited...targeted what caused you pain...recognized that you are not the pain, you are not the disappointment, you are not the problem...
we need your sense of humor, antics, easy going, laid back, care free, pace of a different drummer....
i wish you had waited...i wish i had seen you or heard you or known what you were thinking...believing...choosing.