Morning thoughts

Golden morning sunlight paints
tummies of tiny oak leaves from under
its canopy

new day rises still
early
every green holds its breath
still in deep sleeping blanketed humidity

silent flash of summer lightning in the west
carries off the rest
of night

Tribute to Aunt Dot (Crisp) Ballard July 21, 1931 - August 6, 2015

I was privileged to give the scripture reading for my Aunt Dot's memorial service in Columbia, SC, August 9, 2015, in Boyce Chapel at the First Baptist Church of Columbia.  The theme that ran through the Rev. Humphries' introduction, comments made by Dot's grandchild Angela Ballard Adams, by me and by friends Diana and Jon Dando had such a fabulous singular core: Dot had a way of making you feel like you were her favorite and most prized person in her life. 

The comments I made in the service were far more brief in tapping on the three reasons for choosing the passage, but in writing, i wanted to develop it a little more....

Scripture Reading Mark 5:21-43

The scripture reading today is from Mark 5:21 and following.  I have chosen this passage for two reasons.  Aunt Dot and Jesus are so much alike.  As everyone has said in the service and anyone you talk to, Dot Ballard had a special gift for connecting with you in a way that convinced you—not just that she loved you and cared for you, which was definitely and sincerely true—but that you were her favorite.  Favorite child, favorite grandchild, favorite niece, favorite four-year-old, favorite friend, favorite person in the world.  Even if it was in the space of a five minute encounter in the line at the post office and you never learned her name, you became central to her attention and her love and her force of deep acceptance with that easy, infectious chuckle.  Just being in the room with her was uplifting, and dare I say “healing.”  There were always people gathered in her home on Sundays and holidays and birthdays and whatever day something might be celebrated with feast and family. She was always feeding people.  Jesus seemed to do a lot of that, too.  Notice the company he kept, his reference to “these are my brothers and mother” which were the crowds that gathered around him. 

You will hear people joke about how one might know or be related to Dot—and everyone wanted to be related.  Everyone is related.  But each of us knows secretly, deep down, I was her favorite.  People followed and gathered around Jesus and even without clamoring for his attention (wasn't necessary) you were caught up in that infectious love and force of belonging.  Jesus made it his business to connect, to heal, to engage, to embrace, to love.  Dot had that gift because she had Jesus.

The second reason for choosing this passage is harder to put into words—or maybe not, just that it’s painful.  It’s painful to suffer the loss of a loved one.  Especially such a one as Aunt Dot.  I can’t imagine life without her—and I hope to find that the magic and power of her love, just like Jesus’ love, remains in me, in each of us, giving and receiving, healing and holding, continuing to take care of each of us in the depths of our longing for her presence.  She did not fear death.  I kinda do.  Only because it is elusive and mysterious.  Only because my longing to be is so strong.  My longing to be conscious and aware and connected.  My longing to be reunited with family and friends—family I don’t even know because they left this earth before my time.  

This passage in Mark chapter 5 is among many of those that reassure me that death isn’t all that powerful or scary in the hands of Jesus.  I read these stories—in the Old and New Testaments—because they give me comfort and reassurance that death does not have the final word.  We are on this side of it so the stories address things on this side of death—people who are brought back to life are brought back on this side of it.  The metaphor they were just sleeping is proven by how they wake, are still here with us.  When Jesus died, he came back to us from the other side and so that was the only time we see that we will see.  We will recognize those we love by virtue of how we personally are connected to them, it seems to me.  This is ageless and timeless.  There will be the feel of her spirit, the appearance, if you will, of the one we saw.  To some at age 20, to others age 50 and so on.  But that’s beside the point, my point is that I read these stories for comfort, the reassurance of the hope that in Jesus’ hands, death is not the end, will not separate, is not so powerful.

I read these stories when I feel the pain of loss and fear I might not see my beloved Aunt Dot again and it gives me hope that I might not understand, but in Jesus’ hands, all things are possible. Not an easy choice to believe, but it is a choice.  I choose to believe it because Dot believed it.  First hand I was born and raised in her vicinity to watch the miracle of a life fully dedicated to embodying Christ.  If that is difficult to believe, that knowing Jesus makes a difference, then she is one of the rare ones to show how a life can be lived with faithful prayer and hope to be Jesus among all of us; her life shows this miracle is possible.  

The last letter I received from her was on July first of this year.  She was encouraging me and happened to mention her struggle sometimes with relationships and accepting people...  What?  Dot struggled to love and accept people?  Of course she did. She could be impatient. She could roll her eyes and say someone was driving her crazy. She was fully human. Yet her humility acknowledged the struggle.  In her letter she writes, “So much harder to live peacefully when working on relationships—I don’t always do well it seems.”  What? Even Dot!?!? ...But look at how we remember her!  Look at our favorite memories.  Our sincere gratitude for her is specifically rooted in this one characteristic that is spoken of by each person who knew her—she loved fiercely, personally, intimately, with great favor and great joy.  So in her struggle, she handed that over to Jesus as well in prayer that it would be healed, changed, reconciled.  We are the testament to her success in that prayer.  This gives me hope as well, that prayer can be and will be answered as we seek to embody Christ in namaste—honoring the holy, the “created in the image of God”ness in everyone we meet.  Everyone.  Even the one who is difficult for us personally to accept perhaps.  While on earth even Jesus himself struggled with relationships, and chose a few to do something specific here, sent others away who were disrupting the flow of life there, spoke to one person one way and to the other another way.  Always connecting, embracing, accepting where we are and loving us into the change we might need, no matter what other people might say or think about us...

Actually there’s a third bit to this passage that I find makes me chuckle—Jesus and Dot are so much alike—this last image has been mentioned time and time again as well.  The two of them are so much alike—related like brother and sister. I won’t give it away, but you can’t miss it. It comes in the last sentence.  

Mark 5:21-43 (NASB)

21 When Jesus had crossed over again in the boat to the other side, a large crowd gathered around Him; and so He [a]stayed by the seashore. 22 One of the synagogue [b]officials named Jairus *came up, and on seeing Him, *fell at His feet 23 and *implored Him earnestly, saying, “My little daughter is at the point of death; please come and lay Your hands on her, so that she will [c]get well and live.” 24 And He went off with him; and a large crowd was following Him and pressing in on Him.

25 A woman who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years, 26 and had endured much at the hands of many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was not helped at all, but rather had grown worse— 27 after hearing about Jesus, she came up in the crowd behind Him and touched His [d]cloak. 28 For she [e]thought, “If I just touch His garments, I will [f]get well.” 29 Immediately the flow of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. 30 Immediately Jesus, perceiving in Himself that the power proceeding from Him had gone forth, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My garments?” 31 And His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing in on You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” 32 And He looked around to see the woman who had done this. 33 But the woman fearing and trembling, aware of what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has [g]made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.”

35 While He was still speaking, they *came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; why trouble the Teacher anymore?” 36 But Jesus, overhearing what was being spoken, *said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid any longer, only [h]believe.” 37 And He allowed no one to accompany Him, except Peter and [i]James and John the brother of [j]James. 38 They *came to the house of the synagogue official; and He *saw a commotion, and people loudly weeping and wailing. 39 And entering in, He *said to them, “Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep.” 40 They began laughing at Him. But putting them all out, He *took along the child’s father and mother and His own companions, and *entered the room where the child was. 41 Taking the child by the hand, He *said to her, “Talitha kum!” (which translated means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). 42 Immediately the girl got up and began to walk, for she was twelve years old. And immediately they were completely astounded. 43 And He gave them strict orders that no one should know about this, and He said that something should be given her to eat.

obituary The State newspaper Columbia SC

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